When a loved one comes out as LGBTQ+

When a loved one comes out as LGBTQ+

For many LGBTQ people,the coming out process is a very, very difficult one.As difficult it is for them, it can be difficult for their near and dear ones to accept the change. Here are a few tips that can help you if any of your loved ones have come out.


  • Allow yourself a patient time to adjust to the news
  • Acknowledge that everyone will react to the news differently.There may be several feelings and emotions, including shock, denial, anger, disappointment, guilt, shame, etc
  • This somewhere also feels like a loss of their dreams. You may have had for your loved one.The way you predicted their future, it might not look like the same now.
  • Our values, morals, religious backgrounds, culture etc all impacts our perceptions and views.This may also impact the way we react after hearing the news.
  • Once you feel accepting towards the news, make sure that you educate yourself about LGBTQ topics through books or Internet resources.
  • Seek consent and ask the questions which come into your mind from your loved one
  • Acknowledge that there was nothing done that can be blamed, neither a person or a situation is responsible for this.
  • Make sure that you don’t hurt your loved one by suggesting therapy like reparative therapy.
  • Explore your personal stereotypes and stigmas in your mind related to the issues. Or if you have any kind of homophobia.
  • Acknowledge that the person your loved one has not changed, just that a true part of their identity has been revealed to you.
  • Surely know that you are not alone in this.Everyone in four families has an immediate family member who is from the LGBTQ community.
  • If you feel you are unable to cope up with the news, find a friend, family member, or a mental health professional to share your feelings with.
  • Getting in touch with the support group organization or an advocacy group might also help.

Resources:

Books
  • Always My Child: A Parent’s Guide to Understanding Your Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered or Questioning Son or Daughter by Kevin Jennings and Pat Shapiro
  • Now That You Know: A Parents’ Guide to Understanding Their Gay and Lesbian Children by Betty Fairchild and Nancy Hayward
  • Coming Out to Parents: A Two-way Survival Guide for Lesbians and Gay men and their Parents by Mary V. Borhek
  • Loving Someone Gay by Don Clark
  • Families Like Mine: Children of Gay Parents Tell It Like It Is by Abigail Garner
  • The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families by Amity Pierce Buxton
  • Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out by Loraine Hutchins and Lani Kaahumanu
True Selves: Understanding Transsexualism–For Families, Friends, Coworkers, and Helping Professionals by Mildred L. Brown and Chloe Ann Rounsley

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