10 Reasons why Arranged Marriages lasts longer than Love Marriages

10 Reasons why Arranged Marriages lasts longer than Love Marriages

Arranged Marriage Vs Love Marriages

People from all over the world have been interested in marriage, a joining of hearts, minds, and lives. The contrast between Arrange marriages and love marriages stands out among the many types of marriage. Each has its own unique traits. One idea that keeps coming up in different studies and cultural observations is that arranged marriages are incredibly strong and last a long time, often longer than love marriages. This leads to a deep investigation into the reasons why arranged marriages seem to last longer than love-based ones

Arranged Marriages

Arranged marriage means your family picks your partner based on things like family background, education, job, and hobbies. You might meet a few times before the wedding, but there’s no dating or long courtship.


  • Your family has experience and wants what’s best for you, considering things you might miss in love.
  • There’s family support from the start.
  • Cultural and family expectations push you to make it work.


  • You might feel like you don’t have much say in a huge life decision.
  • It’s tough to build love and closeness with someone you hardly know.
  • You might feel pressured to go along with the match even if you’re not sure.

Love Marriages

In a love marriage, you find your partner on your own through dating, falling in love, and deciding together to get married. You date, get engaged, and then have the wedding.


  • You marry someone you genuinely love and click with.
  • You feel like you’re in control of your own life and choices.
  • There’s a chance for deeper intimacy with someone you have chemistry with.


  • Your family might not approve or support your choice.
  • There’s a higher chance of divorce if you realize you don’t have as much in common as you thought.
  • You might face difficulties blending your family and cultural backgrounds that you didn’t notice when you were in love.

10 reasons why arranged marriages are good compared to Love Marriages:

An overview of the multiple reasons why arranged marriages are good compared to love marriages:

Cultural and Familial Support:

When people get married through an arranged marriage, they get cultural and family support, which makes sure that they both know about their heritage before they get married. This shared history makes it less likely that cultural differences will cause problems. Love marriages, on the other hand, may require couples to deal with and work out differences in culture, which can sometimes cause problems and misunderstandings. 

  • Arranged Marriage: Support from family and culture is very important for arranged marriages to work. In these kinds of marriages, families play an active role in finding a match, making sure that the couple comes from the same culture. Traditions, customs, and values that are shared in this way are often similar. They have a strong foundation of understanding and compatibility because of similar social environments.
  • Love Marriage: On the other hand, people from different cultures may get married out of love. Diversity can be good, but it can also be hard if the couple has not talked about and worked through possible problems before they get married. If people are not checked ahead of time to see if they are culturally compatible, it could lead to problems with lifestyle choices, religious practices, or social expectations.

Shared Values and Backgrounds:

When two people are married by arrangement, they focus on having similar backgrounds and values, which helps build a strong relationship. When a couple starts out on their journey, they know each other’s core values, which makes it more likely that they will be able to handle problems together. When two people in a love marriage find out they have very different values after they have already made a commitment, it can be hard, and they may have to work hard to make up. Families often help couples who are married through an arranged marriage find each other by taking their values into account when matching them up. This makes it more likely that the couple will be happy together in the long run.

  • Arranged Marriage: When two people are married, it is often important that their values and backgrounds match. Families play a big role in making sure that the people being matched have similar morals, beliefs, and principles. In a relationship where basic things like worldview, ethics, and lifestyle choices are already in sync, this pre-selection process helps keep things peaceful.
  • Love Marriage:  In the early stages of a love marriage, it may not be necessary to match values and backgrounds. Shared interests and values can be a part of the attraction, but the focus may be more on the emotional connection and romantic feelings. This means that value differences may come up after the commitment has been made.

Parental Involvement:

People whose parents set up their children to marry someone else provide support that lasts beyond the dating stage. Parents can give the couple valuable advice and insights that will help them deal with problems and make smart choices. In love marriages, parents may or may not be involved. Some couples might do better with help from their parents, while others might have a harder time without a set of people to lean on.

  • Arranged Marriage: One thing that makes arranged marriages unique is that parents are often involved. In these kinds of marriages, parents help find partners for their children by using their knowledge and experience. These parents are involved in more than just the first meeting. They often offer support, guidance, and advice as the relationship grows. When a family talks about their experiences, it helps the couple feel safe and stable.
  • Love Marriage: There can be parental involvement in love marriages, but it might not be as organised or thorough. These kinds of decisions are usually made by the couple themselves, with the parents supporting them rather than taking part in the process. This might make them more independent, but it might also make them less guided as they deal with the challenges of married life.

Lower Expectations:

People in arranged marriages do not expect as much because they are more focused on how well they will work together in real life than on romantic ideas. Couples who are willing to work together to build love over time may have a more stable and grounded relationship. Love marriages, on the other hand, might need some time to get used to as the couple tries to balance their romantic ideas with the realities of everyday life. In arranged marriages, lower expectations help build a stronger base, which makes both people more determined to make the relationship work, even when things go wrong.

  • Arranged Marriage: People who get married through an arranged marriage usually have more practical and realistic goals for the marriage. In these unions, long-term compatibility, shared values, and the chance to respect and understand each other are what matter the most. The couple may not have as many unrealistic romantic ideals because the decision is often based on family concerns. This may help them approach the relationship with a more realistic view. 
  • Love Marriage: People who are deeply in love may have higher expectations at the start of their relationship. People who are emotionally connected and decide to get married may have unrealistic expectations about the relationship, which could lead to disappointment if it does not live up to these unrealistic expectations.

Commitment to Making it Work:

When families and society as a whole are involved in arranged marriages, people often make the decision to make the relationship work from the start. Couples make this promise not just because they love each other, but also because they feel obligated to their family and community. Love marriages are based on personal choice and emotional connection, but during hard times, the couple may need to work harder to stay committed, relying more on their own inner drives. Structured commitment in arranged marriages builds a strong base that can handle problems and stresses how important it is to keep the marriage going for the sake of the family as a whole.

  • Arranged Marriage: Family members helping to find a partner makes people feel responsible not only to their partner but also to their family as a whole. This can make them more willing to put in time and effort to solve problems and make the marriage work.
  • Love Marriage: There is definitely commitment in love marriages, but it may be tested in different ways. At first, love marriages may depend a lot on how strongly two people feel about each other. But when problems arise, the commitment may need to be reaffirmed. Since there are not any outside influences like family expectations, each person may need to be more committed to the relationship on their own.

Structured Support System:

Structured support systems are a big part of arranged marriages, and they come from family and cultural traditions. When grandparents and other extended family members are involved, the couple gets advice not only in the beginning but also throughout their whole marriage. Structured support gives the couple a sense of safety because they know they can ask their families for help and advice. Outside help is still possible in love marriages, but it might not be as formal or in-depth. 

  • Arranged Marriage: A well-established and structured support system is helpful for arranged marriages. When families and communities get involved, it creates a support system that goes beyond the couple. This support system is often based on cultural and family traditions. It helps newlyweds get through the complicated parts of married life by giving them direction, advice, and resources. Elders and family members with a lot of life experience can help create a sense of stability and continuity by giving useful advice and support at different stages of the relationship.
  • Love Marriage: Even though support systems may not be as formal and structured in love marriages, they can still exist. But if there is not a clear system in place, like in arranged marriages, the support network might not be as consistent or complete.

Stability and Security:

In arranged marriages, stability and safety are built into the process of making the choice. The couple already has a support system in place, which can help them deal with problems and uncertainties. This outside support helps keep the relationship stable as a whole. Love marriages are based on choice and emotional connection, but the couple may need to work on making their relationship stable. More than anything else, the level of security may depend on how strong the emotional bond is between the partners. A lot of people who are married through an arranged marriage feel like their relationship is stable and safe because they have structured support and external validation.

  • Arranged Marriage: Since families are involved in the decision-making process, arranged marriages often give people a sense of stability and safety. Families that have thought about compatibility factors help build a strong base for the relationship. Building a strong base on shared values and cultural compatibility helps keep things stable, and the couple feels safe knowing that their families support and approve of their relationship. 
  • Love Marriage: Even though love marriages can be stable and safe, they may also have a different dynamic. The emotional connection between the partners is often what holds the relationship together at first, and the couple’s ability to handle problems on their own may be more important for the relationship’s stability. 

Gradual Development of Love:

When marriages are arranged, the couple focus on compatibility, shared values, and commitment, which leads to love slowly growing. There may not be the same intense feelings between the two right away as in a love marriage, but their love grows as they share experiences and understand each other better. Love marriages, on the other hand, start with a strong emotional bond. But it can be hard to keep and grow that love after the initial excitement wears off. Both Arrange marriages and love marriages can lead to deep and lasting love, but they do so in different ways. 

  • Arranged Marriage: Here love often grows slowly over time. In the beginning of a relationship, the focus is on getting to know each other, understanding each other, and being friends. Even though they may not have had the intense romantic feelings that usually come with a love marriage at the start, they grow to love and care deeply for each other through shared experiences and a determination to make the marriage work.
  • Love Marriage: Love marriages typically start with a foundation of romantic feelings and emotional connection. Often, the love between the two people is clear from the start, which is what leads them to decide to get married. But to keep this love strong and grow it over time, the couple may have to work at it and change as they deal with the realities of everyday life

Social Pressure:

Arranged marriages often go better because society and culture accept them, which makes the environment more supportive. Society’s expectations can make love marriages even harder, and the couple may feel stressed as they deal with other people’s opinions and judgments. This difference in social pressure can affect how the relationship works as a whole. 

  • Arranged Marriage: People usually support and accept arranged marriages, which means that the couple does not have to deal with as much social pressure. This could let them focus on building their relationship without outside interference.
  • Love Marriage: There may be more social pressure on couples who are married for love, especially in places where arranged marriages are more common. When someone goes against cultural norms, family or community members may look at them suspiciously or disapprove. This extra stress could make the couple less sure of their choice and change the way their relationship works.

Stronger Focus on Family:

In an arranged marriage, family issues are often given more attention because the couple’s compatibility is judged not only on their own, but also on how well they fit into the family as a whole. This focus on what the family expects can give the couple a sense of duty and responsibility that can affect their choices and actions throughout their marriage. In love marriages, family is still important, but the connection between the two people is what drives them, and decisions may be made based on their happiness rather than how they fit into the family’s set up. Both ways are good in some ways, but the difference lies in how well they balance the needs of each person and the expectations of their family.

  • Arranged Marriage: A lot of the time, family compatibility, social status, and the larger family network play a role in people’s decisions to get married through an arranged marriage. People see the couple as a unit that fits into the family structure as a whole, and they expect their union to reflect the values and expectations of each family.
  • Love Marriage: Even though love marriages value family, they may put more emphasis on each partner’s happiness and how well they get along with each other. People often decide to get married because they love and are close to each other. Family support is important, but the couple’s own health and happiness may be the most important thing.

In light of our previous discussions, it’s apparent that arranged marriages tend to endure longer than love marriages. An article by TOI delves into the comparison between love and arranged marriages, shedding light on several compelling points.

It is very important to be sensitive to cultural differences and personal experiences when talking about this topic. There may be some things about arranged marriages that make them seem like they will last, but in the end, a marriage only lasts as long as the two people in it are committed, communicate well, and get along. As we try to figure out why arranged marriages work so well, we need to remember that matrimony is complex and that the path to lasting love is different for each couple. If you want to get help when it comes to having your own perspectives related to Arrange marriages and love marriages, seek the opinions of the professionals. Get in touch with Psychologists and Counsellors at Antarmanh.

Frequently Asked Question’s:

Why do arranged marriages last longer than love marriage?

  • Culture: In places where arranged marriages are common, there may be strict rules and expectations about marriage. The effects of these cultural factors can lead to more support, commitment, and adherence to traditional values, all of which may help marriages last longer.
  • Family Involvement: When families are involved in arranged marriages, it can add another layer of support and stability. Because of family expectations, both partners may want the marriage to work out, which can help couples work through problems instead of ending the relationship.

How are arranged marriages better than love marriages?

Instead of calling it better, let us look at factors that might impact a marriage to form a better perspective:

  • Considerations for Compatibility: Families who set up marriages often go through a long screening process where they look at things like religion, caste, socioeconomic status, and education to see if the two people will get along. The goal of this careful matching process is to make sure that the two people are compatible, which lowers the chance of problems arising from differences in these areas.
  • Stability and a Supportive System: Structured support systems are good for arranged marriages, with families active in giving advice and help. This external support can contribute to stability and a sense of security, factors that are considered advantageous for a lasting marriage.

What kind of marriages last the longest?

Those that have features such as:

  • Sharing values and being compatible. Marriages that focus on shared values, being compatible, and having similar life goals tend to last longer. When a couple shares the same core beliefs, values, and goals, they may be better able to deal with the challenges of life.
  • Effective Communication. Couples who can talk to each other well and work out their differences tend to stay together. Communication that is open, honest, and respectful helps people understand each other, feel connected, and figure out how to solve problems.
  • Commitment and Flexibility. Partners in a happy marriage are usually dedicated to making the relationship work and also able to adjust to changes in their lives. A marriage will last longer if both people are willing to change and grow together.

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